Dear You Guys

A belle, a bean and a Chicago dog asked me to partake in her latest activity of writing a love letter using my latest comments from my posts. I then link with her and list the other participants using this button:
So this is my hopeful attempt at writing a random love letter. Enjoy!

Dear You Guys,

Franticmommy here! You were the post above me at Scary Mommy. First, I loved your handle. THEN I read your comment about feeling run down etc. And how you don’t rest EVER. DITTO. Me either. And I think we should change that (I’m not sure I even know how to relax!). We have something in common beside our names! Then I read your post and I want you to know You. Are. SO. NORMAL. I’ve been there. Not all that long ago either. Heck, I’m probably still there! I live in Minnesota and winters tend to get lllooonngg. It’s Fall here now so we are heading into what I call “4 months of captivity”. I’ve noticed in our family, the more we are under each others feet, the more tempers get short, I get cranky and snappy, which usually leads to the rest of the family being the same way. Money is uber tight here too. We are down to one income. BUT I made it my mission to “find adventure” as often as possible. Cheap or free adventure. The more we are out moving around (distracted) the less time we have to get on each others nerves. Fun doesn’t have to cost money. We walk at parks, made it a goal to visit a new playground every weekend, and even started attending church on Sunday. You are not alone, you just need to tap into a new circle of friends. Sometimes we become like a record with a scratch. Our “needle” get stuck in the groove and just plays over and over. Pop that needle out of the groove and go find a new adventure this weekend. ((HUGS))

I hear people say “Oh, I just can’t imagine what my life would be without the kids!” Really? I imagine it all the time…

I don’t wish I didn’t have kids, but man do I often long for the way life used to be without them. Oh the sleeping. and the calm…. and the quiet… and the lack of “no! stop! don’t! ACHHHHLLKKK!”
sigh
You’re so not alone

You have my sympathy! One thing I gave up on was ironing. My husband travels so he has to iron his own when he unpacks. But I hardly ever iron. And since laundry is never removed or folded promptly, a lot of the time our clothes look like some sort of topographical map. We are the Wrinkle Girls!

This is really important. Thank you for the gentle reminder about priorities and that our actions (or lack thereof) affect others. Good for you– I’m impressed!
btw, I found you through scary mommy!

I pray that it goes well & lots of funds are raised for this very worthwhile cause.

I’m sorry did I just read 10 lbs 2.25 oz???!!! Of course the last 8 years went fast, he was half grown when he was born!!!
Maybe not quite… but apparently you’re a wonderful baby maker.
Love the 3 year old cone head picture, and the lanky boy jammin’ with daddy.
My oldest turned 9 last week and yes, it goes much too fast. The first year I was so excited for each milestone it seemed like she’d never start walking or talking, and then suddenly it all started happening too fast and there’s no brake pedal.

Aww, how exciting and terrifying at the same time! I hope he enjoyed his day.

Love Mary

Too Many Choices?

I have often wondered how we all survived when choices were limited and activities less available. Did we know what we were missing? Were we aware that there was so much untapped choice out there? Or did we actually enjoy the time we had to do the list of activities/hobbies that were available?

Also have we become lazier through having more choice? The increasing use of technology has certainly made the next generation lazy with their spelling and their oral communication. I had this thought confirmed to me when reading the rather funny comments on a status by ScaryMommy , a fantastic lady whose blog I’ve been following to help inspire me and reassure me that life with three children is not so bad. The comment was that maybe we were all old because we didn’t understand the lingo. Nope I can assure you that at 27 I am not old, I just like to use my brain occasionally to speak and write a FULL sentence.

When I awoke this morning I had the thought that technology is making us lazy further confirmed to me by this article in the Telegraph. And it turns out that having too many choices is quite possibly making us ill, and the children more hyper! Granted yes without technology I would now be minus this blog and all the wonderful friends I have made through it and the many social networking sites out there. But I can assure you I would not be bored. I’d be off actually doing some of the many jobs on my list, or even gardening, knitting, reading a book or finishing the rug off that I started when pregnant with my eldest 9 years ago!

So what have I learnt from all of this? To turn the TV and computer off more often and make the most of family time by actually doing something together. By making the most of the technology free time by finishing some of the many projects I have started but ran out of time to finish. By learning a new skill and actually becoming a master at it. What will you do with your free time?

I wasn’t aware…

Whilst looking through my comments today I stumbled across this delightful post about the language of bloggers. Now I wasn’t aware that we had a language of our own, but now agree with these translations and say that on more than one occasion I have suffered from hitnosis and blogstipation. I can also say that I am fast becoming a blogoholic and hubby has to often prise the keyboard from my fingers so that he can work on his books.

I am still a newbie though and have much to learn. Like what are all these buttons above my post box? what do they do? and have I successfully linked franticmommy’s post to mine? I need a lesson in blogging and fast if I am to make this successful. And that’s another thing. I wasn’t aware that you can make money from your blogs. Were you?

Baby Blues?

I apologise now but this is going to be a dreary post.  I just needed to write down somewhere how I am feeling in the hope that it will help me feel some what better or even sort a few things out.

Today is a real down day. Everything feels like such hard work and I have no motivation what so ever.  I keep sitting here thinking about everything that I need to be doing and then feeling guilty because all I want to do is sleep and wallow.  The girls keep kicking off and so far I have counted 5 tantrums from each of them.  Money is very tight, time is extremely limited and moments to myself are few and far between.  To make matters worse I beat myself up constantly about the amount of shouting I do, and what I don’t achieve with the children.  When will the ‘wow I’m so glad I had kids’ feeling hit? Are they really worth it?

I feel so alone sometimes too.  Friends are few and far between and never seem to be around when I truly need them, despite me being there when ever anyone needs me.  I don’t give to receive but a small amount of support without me begging for it would be wonderful.  It seems to me that people don’t notice when I need the help unless I am at breaking point.  Then its the whole ‘Oh my those poor kids she never stops shouting’ or ‘Why can’t she cope then?’ looks and whispers.  Perhaps I’m being paranoid, perhaps I am just depressed.  If I am then this has been going on for over 8 years on and off.

Is it really too much to ask that one day I could wake up happy and life be even just a little easier? Just one day?

Before having children I so wanted to be a chilled out mum who could handle things well, baked often, had a clean, organised house and had plenty of time for  the children.  So far I feel like I am the complete opposite.  What did you imagine you would be like before having children?

Moonlight Memory Walk

After my rant about doing Charity Work I thought that was only fair that I wrote about the event in question. On the 18th September at 10pm I took part in a wonderful ladies only moonlight memory walk. This was a chance for all the local ladies to get together and remember those close to us who we had lost, no matter their age or reason for dying. We were all given a paper bag to decorate before hand and on the night these were filled with sand and a pink tea light candle was lit and placed inside. They were all then placed around the fountain for all to admire together. These alone were moving as you can see:

We were entertained and inspired by a wonderful singer before being warmed up by our local radio station. We all left in high spirits to begin one of the most moving experiences of my life. The night was glorious and clear, despite being a little cool. But then to be honest if it had been warmer it may not have been so enjoyable. I was walking with a few friends and we got a good stride going which we kept for the whole route. We chatted about everything and anything, allowing the time to pass quickly. The world was put to rights that night whilst helping to support a worthy cause. I made it back in just under 1 hour and 20 minutes, starving hungry from walking by the sea, and very pleased to be receiving my medal. I am pleased to announce that I have raised £48 so far but am still able to take donations if you wish to help.

With views like this
it’s not hard to imagine why I will be giving it a go again next year, despite the blisters and the cold that I now have.

The never ending cycle

I am sat here wondering where the mountain of washing comes from each day. If its not dirty then it needs folding or ironing and just when I think I’ve conquered it and can rest easy there is more hiding around the corner. It seems a never ending cycle and if I dare take a day off it seems to triple by the next day. Does having three active children really have to mean I now live in a laundry?

I would hate to imagine how much it would all cost if I had to take it to the launderette. Currently there are two loads upstairs to wash, one in the machine, two on the line, one to fold, three to put away and a huge pile of ironing. Plus I can’t remember the last time I successfully managed to strip the beds completely and air them all whilst washing the bedding. And don’t mention the curtains etc!

I envy all those mums out there who manage to keep immaculate houses, work, spend time with their children, cook home made meals and have a hobby or quality time to themselves. If you know anyone like that or even if you are what are the secrets? please could you share even if it helps just a small bit. I’m currently drowning under smelly socks and crumpled uniforms.

Where have those 8 years gone?

Today is my eldest’s 8th Birthday and it has got me wondering where on earth those years have gone. So much has happened not only to him but all of us in those years and out lives have changed in many ways.

I could list some ways in which my life has changed, I could write for days about everything that has happened to all of us, but this day is Monkey 1’s day and therefore this post is dedicated to him.

Monkey 1 was born on the 19th September 2002 weighing in at 10lbs 2.25oz. He was the end product of a pregnancy that saw me spending more time in hospital than out, mainly because I kept going into labour and they needed to stop it. I am a diabetic and as a result of him being a wonderful surprise I was not controlled well before getting pregnant and this added to the problems as well as his weight.

This is him at 24hours old. Isn’t he scrummy?

As the years have gone by and he has grown as well as learnt new things, practised old things and given Mummy much to be proud of him for.
He’s three here and a cheeky monkey too.

He now has two little sisters and Mummy has very little time to spend solely with him. Suddenly I looked up this morning and realised that my little monkey is now a big monkey and fast approaching the teenage years, the years where the attitude starts, he starts to need me less and less and its uncool to kiss your Mum in public let alone tell her you love her. I really must make sure I absorb as much of this young man as I can before he gets to this stage and his favourite phrase becomes ‘Life’s not fair’.

Does anyone else feel that you blink and 8 years have passed?

Improvements?

I am considering adding pictures to my blog and hopefully improving it in some way. Trouble is I really don’t know what to include or what to change. What do you all think? Do you want to see pictures of my family and me? What would you like to know about me?

I do need to fill out my ‘About me’ page but have not yet had the inspiration to fill it out. Perhaps with a few friendly comments I will find the courage and inspiration to bare all to the world and let you into my ‘family’ a little more.

Are these improvements really needed?

Charity Work

On Saturday 18th September I will be participating in a mass ladies only moonlight walk in aid of The Precious Lives Appeal.  This is a local charity that are raising money to build the first children’s hospice in the county and I wish to help them as much as I can.  The trouble is I have tried to get people to sponsor me through the usual roots like talking about it and putting it as my facebook status, but I have found that most just ignore me or complain that they have no money spare.  What makes me laugh though is the next time I see them they are usually ‘wasting’ their money on things that surely aren’t necessary.  I’m not saying that we should all stop having luxuries or doing things that cost money but surely a spare £1 or two is not too much to ask? Especially seeing it’s a one off thing and it is for a very worthy cause that may just help out a family that you may know.

Despite not raising any money so far I will still be going and I will be wearing my t-shirt with pride.  Come heavy rain or clear starry skies I will be there in memory of all those loved ones that have touched my life in some way, no matter how small, walking with my head held high (and hopefully a warm jumper on underneath).

Does anyone else feel that no matter what they do people have developed the knack of ignoring you and giving you the obligatory nod before changing the subject? I don’t do much for charity as usually I do not have the time but occasionally something touches my heart and I just have to help.

So no matter where you are in the world if you would like to help out a very worthy cause, and provide the many numbers of children in need then please please click below. Thank you xx

How did they do it?

I have often wondered how mum’s from days gone by managed to do everything with so much ease.  They managed to keep a spotless house, raise a hoard of lovely, well-mannared children, made loads of  yummy home cooked food, grew all their own veg and even made their own clothes.  Things were ‘harder’ then too with the conveniences of today not available.  More cleaning was done by hand with even the ‘hoovering’ done by sweeping, and things llike scrubbing the front step, something I don’t think I have ever done.   Skills were passed down from generation to generation, all with slight adaptions to help make them better.  Skills like knitting, darning, baking, gardening and sewing. Skills I wish I had been taught when I was younger so that I could now pass on the family’s secrets and skills to my daughters (and son).

I envy the mum’s of the past in some ways because they always appeared to be happy, although I am sure that actually they would have probably wished their lives were easier.  Nowadays I never seem to stop, there is always some demand or other placed on me, I’m needed in so many different places all at once that the house is lucky to get a once over with the hoover and the dishes done daily. Let alone the beds stripped regularly and my husband’s home cooked tea on the table when he gets home from a hard days work.  Is it the so called modern conveniences that make our lives actually harder? Do they actually create more work for us? What do you all think?